Ted Haggard Finally Has It All Figured Out

Famed gay-sex-and-meth-loving Evangelical hypocrite, Ted Haggard, returned to the pulpit this week to make excuses for his closeted gayness. Here's a quick news clip about Haggard's nausea-inducing realizations:


The most "fascinating" finding: because Haggard was molested in 2nd grade, he developed an insatiable hunger for meth and man ass. Uh huh.

Of course his behavior probably has nothing to do with the serious psychological damage that must originate from being a self-hating closeted homosexual obsessed with furthering hateful and misinformed messages about gay people.

It is such an ironic depressing joke.

Dear Ted Haggard: you cannot write off your sexual identity due to vague sexual molestation events when you were in elementary school. Molestation of children is incredibly serious and can leave life-long psychological damage.

Haggard is not gay because he was molested. He became a right-wing, nut-job preacher because he was molested.