BIG BREAKING NEWS

Queue the exciting music and fancy cable news graphics! The Associated Press is reporting this hour that the bellwether state of Missouri will go to Senator John McCain. Geez louise. Took them long enough. So much for being a bellwether.

I was actually sad this year that I did not get to watch all the election night ballot returns on CNN as commentators and pundits are literally interrupted mid-sentence with photos and graphics of big blue or red check boxes. There is a drinking game in there somewhere.

However, what is astonishing about Missouri is how few votes separated the two candidates. A mere 3,632. There were nearly 3 million people that voted in that state. That's about a 0.12% difference.

Goddamn.

And in the state of Minnesota, there were about 200 votes separating the two candidates for U.S. Senate -- such a small amount, they are required by law to recount everything. There will likely be court fights about the validity of handfuls of individual absentee ballots.

Election after election, there are always races that come down to the smallest vote differences. I once met someone who ran for an office and lost by 3 votes. Three.

So the next time you hear someone whine, "voting is useless.. my vote does not count," be sure to remind them they are a complete fool.